Note to self: You can't give them the best of you.

for when they're gone,

your best becomes recycled

words & cliché hopes for their anew.

For your favorite song becomes

the theme of stolen moments,

and your favorite books are

residing in the unread side of his shelves, only to share for fabricated good impressions.

so, no.

don't give them the best of you.

for your best becomes bait

for the prey of another woman's best.

and if they can irrevocably

& madly fall in love with

the worst parts of your flesh & soul,

they will never be the ones who steal your best.

the best of your love,

the best of your life,

the best of your words,

the best of you.

so, i told myself,

"from now on,

if i ever fall in love i'd

only showcase my worst."

Because your demons need love, too.

I listen intently to the words that flow like poetry when you speak, because it’s the only thing I can do at this point. I’m captivated by your eloquence. The stories you tell paint a picture so vivid- it’s like I’m swimming in a paradise of prose, where your mind is the warm sun & your soul is the shade that cools me. I’m floating in & out of our conversation, but my imagination’s running wild. My lips purse & my mouth takes shape, as if I have something better to say after you, but then … nothing.I’m stunned; my tongue is temporarily paralyzed. I find myself stumbling over my words asI wander the corridors of your beautiful mind. Every door I open lures me deeper. I hear an echo from a distance, & it belongs to someone familiar but so new. Who could it be? You call my name for attention. For a moment, I had closed my eyes & I was lost. But your voice leaves a trail that leads me back. Rushing back to the first door that led me to where I was now,I snap back to reality. In a failed attempt at trying to explain my what seems to be” inattentiveness, ”I let out a giggle. I swear I’m doing nothing but listening. It’s just that, well, you see …I would trade my words for silence, just to hear you speak.

Your heartbeat echoes within me.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.

Counting the moments life would be better with you.

The day that I lost you has become more than a memory. It has become a room in my mind that I don't always mind being trapped in.

Your heartbeat echoes within me.

Some days are easier than others, some days are just a blur. Some days are unavoidable, but everyday, you're not there.

15 years of heartache, 15 years of strain.

You could have grown with me, if only you could have stayed. But maybe I'm being selfish, perhaps your absence isn't in vain.

Because in that moment, I didn't know you- although now, nothing has changed.

Your heartbeat echoes within me.

I hear it everyday, it resonates around me with each breathe I take.

I wonder if you hear me, and listen when I pray. I wonder if you hear him, he misses you more with every passing day.

Your heartbeat echoes within us.

Your heartbeat echoes within me.

What I would give to go back..

To feel that beat again inside of this walking corpse,

Breathe life into me again.

Your heartbeat echoes within me.