Anabel Castorena

“On The Days Your Absence Gets Too Much”

I started my poetry journey when I was teenager going through so much pain, one unfortunate event after another. Writing was my way of dealing with it all. I could never express my feelings out loud, so I write it all out on paper. A lot of my poems were letters I could never send to my father after years of narcissistic abuse and his inconsistent presence. This poem is about those days when his absence just gets too much and it messes with my ability to feel okay sometimes. But I've been learning to not let it keep me anchored down. His absence should be my freedom, but it's hard when sometimes all I want is a dad. But despite his absence, I am grateful for all of the people who have been by my side through it all. They have been by my side for both the good and the bad. 

“Your Life Is But A Dream”

I am 1 in 4. And I am so sorry to those who know what that means, because you are a part of a club no one wants to be in. Baby loss is so common, but it's not talked about as much as I had hoped when I experienced my miscarriage. It can be lonely when you are left to grieve silently. But I hope no one ever has to feel alone. Grief is not linear and there is no time limit in how long you're supposed to grieve the death of your baby. It's a traumatic experience having to feel both life and death in your own body. Don't ever let anyone minimize your experience. You don't have to be strong, you don't have to be okay. Grief is relentless, but so is hope.